Now it can be told:
"We Used to Call Him 'Bad'"
The Don Birmingham Story
Where is he now?
Starting guard,
Marine on St Croix
Full Contact
Basketball 1997-98
We Used to Call Him Bad
"Don Birmingham! Don Birmingham! You
know Don Birmingham? The guy's a St. John's legend."
I stood there dumbly. It was not the kind of reception I'd
expected. I had thought they'd say things like
"Burming...I..." (grimacing) "I don't know....
1969....almost 30 years ago?...pretty long time....Say the name
again....How are you spelling it."
I thought it would be something like that. But instead:
"Man, that guy, we used to call him 'Bad.' For years in the
hallway there was a great big blown-up photo of him taking a
jumpshot, with a caption: '30 points in back-to-back games.'
Sometimes we called him 'Old 30-30.'"
Then:
"You've got to talk to ..... and to ...."
Well, that was more than I bargained for. I was interested, but
it was, to tell the truth, a minor interest. I had been just
passing through Central Minnesota, driving through that poor flat
farm country with sandy soil and dilapidated farm buildings,
glanced at my watch, and made a stop when I came upon the always
surprising oasis where St John's University is hidden amongst
rolling pine-covered hills. I had important commitments later in
the day. But I had thought it might be funny to briefly check out
the past, after Don had told me about playing at St. John's Prep.
I'd maybe pick up just a story or two to add to the warp and woof
for the boys at the Brookside. I had planned on walking in,
spending a minute to inquire, discovering little, and scurrying
back to my car to make it to my next appointment.
But now this:
"Geez. Where is that photo, where is that photo? We've got
to find that photo. Who'd know? I know who'd know," picking
up the phone, "Maswarischwitz!"
(Maswarischwitz? Where was I? Notre Dame?).
"Maswarischwitz? Teddy? Listen, I've got a guy here who's
asking about Bad Don Birmingham? Yeah, I told him about the
photo..."
(Why couldn't it have just turned out like: "Well, I really
don't know.... We don't really have time for this kind of
inquiry.... We'd really need the request in writing....")
(But instead I have to meet Maswarischwitz):
"Don Birmingham! Of course, I remember him. We used to call
him 'Bad.' 'Old 30-30.' There used to be a picture of him, did
you know that."
(Well, I did know that.)
"Just a sec. Just a sec. There's Corkin outside the door.
Corkin! Come here. C'mon in here a minute. I want you to meet
somebody: a friend of good old 'Bad' Birmingham!"
"Don Birmingham! There was a big photo of him in the
hall."
(Yes, I know. I think someone mentioned it. This was getting
tiresome.)
"He scored 30 points in back-to-back games. After that we
called him '30-30'"
(Golly, fancy that.)
"You know, Corkin, we've got to find that photo. We've got
to check the archives."
(The archives?)
"First, we'll check the school's archives, and if it's not
there then the main archives, the ones at the monastery."
(They have two sets of archives? And one of them's at the
monastery? Has he been sainted?)
We're on our way down the hall, priest approaching:
"Father, Father Flynn, we're hot on the trail of that big
photo of 'Bad Don' Birmingham. This guy's a friend of his. Says
Don now lives just across the border in Wisconsin."
"Good morning, Teddy. God bless.... Amazing! Don Birmingham!
Mr. Downtown! Sometimes we called him that. And sometimes we
called him 'Old 30-30.'"
(We call him 'Old Cheesehead.')
"You know, Teddy, be sure to remember those plaques. Those
awards for when he was named Prep School All-American! Not to
mention Academic All-American and National Altar Boy Athlete of
the Year."
(Spare me.)
"And Teddy...."
"Father?"
"You wouldn't want to forget,
of course...." (Chuckling) "...The Gagliardi
Trophy."
Where is he now?
Starting guard,
Marine on St Croix
Full Contact
Basketball 1997-98
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